Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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