you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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