I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
