I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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