6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
