He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
