I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
