why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
