omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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