you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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