Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
