well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
