Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
