he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize