I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
