We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
