It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
