yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
