Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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