Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
