I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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