Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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