I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize