Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
