Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
