Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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