At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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