So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
