is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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