I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
