So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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