He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
