My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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