Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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