I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
