bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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