shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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