let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
