I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
