Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
