There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
