I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just gift wrapped bread.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So vagazzling was a success
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
