she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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