Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize