Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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