just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
