thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
