Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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