ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
