I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
