Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize