doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
