do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
