oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
