I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have post one night stand depression
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