I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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