I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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