I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
