my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
