i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
