you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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