She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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