In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize