This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
