Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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